This is Part II in a mini-series honoring our fifth baby, who is now in heaven. Read Part I here.
“We are fighting for this baby. I want you baby, I want to smell your skin, look into your eyes and hold you on THIS side of eternity."
These were the words I journaled in the wee hours of the morning after I began to experience symptoms of losing my 10 week old baby. Michael and I went headfirst into a battle contending for LIFE over our precious little one, so small, so vulnerable.
The Lord gave Michael a beautiful song the week before, an overflow out of Philippians 4 (and a sneaky impromptu announcement of our new baby). As the week progressed, it became evident that this song was truly SUCH a gift from the Lord, helping me fight off fear and premature grief.
"I tell you, Melody! Be anxious for nothing, but in everything, by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your heart and mind in Christ Jesus… whatever is true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just… pure… lovely… of a good report… anything of virtue… anything praiseworthy… MEDITATE on THESE THINGS!"
“Father, I trust You! I give each of my kids back to You again - I trust You today. Thank you for this sweet baby in my womb - cover, heal, strengthen, finish the good work in my baby’s body. I want this baby."
I did NOT want to look up early symptoms of miscarriage because that was NOT happening!
I had never experienced these symptoms and I would not let my mind go there… and yet the fear lingered.
I wanted to DO something! Find some magical answer searching on my phone.
Maybe google 'what to do when you face miscarriage'... maybe find a list of scriptures to speak Life over my baby… and as I went to curl up with my phone Monday afternoon, I heard the Holy Spirit whisper gently to my heart…
“What you’re looking for, you will only find in Me.”
As I would pray breath-prayers throughout the day, laying on my bed, shifting my meditation from worry to prayer, these scripture-centered prayers came bubbling out of my soul. This is one of the crazy-amazing perks of having the indwelling Holy Spirit and hiding God's Word in your heart.
I invite you to pray them over your kids and loved ones!
You will LIVE, baby, and not die, and declare the works of the Lord! Psalm 118:17
The devil comes to steal, kill and destroy, baby… but Jesus came so that you would have LIFE and life abundant! John 10:10
Greater is Jesus who lives IN ME, alongside you, sweet baby, than the demonic prince who lives in the world. 1 John 4:4
The SAME power that raised Christ from the dead LIVES IN ME, alongside YOU, sweet baby!!! Romans 8:11
I lean into Your promise Abba, not ONE of them shall miscarry or cast their young before their time. You bless my food and water. Exodus 23:26
I rest under the shadow of the Most High, You will save me and my baby, because we delight in You and trust You. Psalm 91
God, You are forming my precious baby in my womb, knitting him or her together in the secret place… if you raised the dead to life in cold tombs, HOW MUCH MORE, are You able to breathe life into my baby as you form him or her in my warm, safe womb. Psalm 139 & John 11
Here I am, me and my children with me, we are for signs and wonders! Do a sign and a wonder in my body RIGHT NOW! Touch my sweet baby. Isaiah 8:18
Thank you Father for keeping me in perfect peace because my heart is stayed on You. Bring peace to my mind and heart. Isaiah 26:3
Thank You Father for renewing my mind. Romans 12:2
I reject all fear and lean into your love. 1 John 4:18
As I sleep I know You rejoice and sing over me and my baby. Help me sleep tonight and heal me. Zeph 3:1
How do you live in faith and truth as the same time?
How do you respond to real circumstances and pains and still reach for the impossible?
These are good questions to ask the Holy Spirit, and He will help us walk it out.
You can read Part III, Facing Miscarriage or Loss, here.
In it, I share invaluable keys to walking through uncertainty and heartache with grace...