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FACING MISCARRIAGE OR LOSS | PTIII

Updated: May 21, 2022



This is Part III in a mini-series honoring our heaven-baby, begin by reading Part I, Longing for Baby #5 here.


A big part of wanting to write out of our pain and heartbreak at facing the trauma of miscarriage was to create a resource for those who are walking through this difficult place with faith, grace and equipped with some of the resources the Lord gave me. Here it is!

Find yourself in the Psalms. Cozy up and rest under His warm wings enjoying His safe covering. Sit down and feast on His goodness even in the presence of your enemies (the threat of miscarriage yourself in the Psalms. Cozy up and rest under His warm wings enjoying His safe covering. Sit down and feast on His goodness even in the presence of your enemies (the threat of miscarriage, physical pain, overwhelming grief, etc.).


Though I am FAR from perfect, I do know the Lord has given me a few keys which unlock the stuck doors I have encountered on this road… I pray they help you. This is a resource that can help you when you are facing unfavorable symptoms in your body, when you are not sure what the outcome will be, while you are contending for life & healing, and even when you experience the devastation of loss.

  1. LEAN. I chose to lean upon Jesus in my weakness and vulnerability. One does not need be ashamed of emotions, God gave them to us gifts. I let my emotions inform me, but not control me. They were not the final authority or my master. Living at the mercy and whims of our emotions put us in a turbulent place of existence.

  2. SMILE. Going through difficulty - even battling terrible symptoms in my body (or later while grieving the loss of my child), smiling was an act of faith. I am not talking about putting on a show for anyone, rather is was a "push-up" of my faith that I did for my own heart. In the middle of not knowing what the outcome would be, this small act of faith... smiling... sparked my inner man to rise up! As Psalm 30:5 encourages, “Weeping may last for a night, but joy comes with the morning"! This is not the end of my story, and it's not the end of yours!

  3. MEDITATE. On sleepless nights, or restless days when anxiety plagued my mind, meditating on the Word of God was a refuge. Two of my favorite Psalms are Psalm 23 and Psalm 91. I encourage you to read them in your quiet times before bed and use your imagination to see yourself living these words. Cozy up and rest under His warm wings enjoying His safe covering. Sit down and feast on His goodness even in the presence of your enemies (the threat of miscarriage, physical pain, overwhelming grief, etc.). His Word is ALIVE and can pierce any darkness we are experiencing.

  4. PRAY. It is never foolish to pray for healing, resurrection and divine break through. I want to reach for everything available to me through the cross of Christ! Beloved, we don't stop when we get a bad report, we contend. Even when our heart wavers, we muscle up and ask the author of Life to intervene. We are not of those who shrink back and are destroyed! I encourage you, take your place as a daughter of the King, seated in heavenly places with Christ and plead the blood of Jesus over you & your loved ones.

  5. SING. Not only will I NOT use my words to partner with fear, accusation or worry, but I will lift up my voice in praise to my Lord in the midst of trouble. This exercise is soooosooo soooooo good. Not only does it build the muscle of self control, but singing God’s praises puts His Word on our lips and, as I mentioned before, His Word pierces the darkness! I sang through tears many times during this battle, letting out the cry of my heart! I sang out my heartbreak, the questions I had and many times I ended up singing about my hope in Jesus. It may be another uncomfortable “push up” to muscle through initially, but I promise, you will not regret going there when you’re done. Psalm 42 is beautiful biblical example of King David doing this.

  6. STAND. We will not surrender to despair, hopelessness, fear and doubt. Again, this does not mean we do not weep, grieve, ask for help, process through questions… rather it is our heart posture that makes the difference. Stay connected to Jesus through the whole process, do not disconnect your heart from the One who can hold and heal it.

Practically, what did this look like for me?


Downshift. Rest if you are able, ask for help from your people, gracefully excuse yourself from previous commitments, let the non-essential duties of life wait. Let your trusted circle know to pray and connect with the One who can make all the difference! Talk to Him. He can handle your questions, fears and vulnerability. And at the same time, watch your words and thoughts. They can quickly take you down a dark path where you do not want to go.

When in doubt, pray or praise.

And though they are mentioned in Part II, Contending for Life in the Face of Fear, I wanted to list these scriptures I turned into prayers here as well to make one concise resource:


  • Psalm 118:17. You will LIVE, baby, and not die, and declare the works of the Lord!

  • John 10:10. The devil comes to steal, kill and destroy… but Jesus came so that my baby would have abundant LIFE!

  • 1 John 4:4. Greater is Jesus who lives IN ME, alongside you, sweet baby, than the demonic prince who lives in the world. Jesus You are STRONGER!

  • Romans 8:11. The SAME power that raised Christ from the dead LIVES IN ME, alongside YOU, sweet baby!!!

  • Exodus 23:26. I lean into Your promise Abba, not ONE of them shall miscarry or cast their young before their time. You bless my food and water.

  • Psalm 91. I rest under the shadow of the Most High. You will save me and my baby, because we delight in You and trust You.

  • Psalm 139 & John 11. God, You are forming my precious baby in my womb, knitting him or her together in the secret place… if you raised the dead to life in cold tombs, HOW MUCH MORE, are You able to breathe life into my baby as you form him or her in my warm, safe womb.

  • Isaiah 8:18. Here I am, me and my children with me, we are for signs and wonders! Do a sign and a wonder in my body RIGHT NOW! Touch my sweet baby.

  • Isaiah 26:3. Thank you Father for keeping me in perfect peace because my heart is stayed on You. Bring peace to my mind and heart.

  • Romans 12:2. Thank You Father for renewing my mind.

  • 1 John 4:18. I reject all fear and lean into your love.

  • Zephaniah 3:17. As I sleep I know You rejoice and sing over me and my baby. Help me sleep tonight.

  • Ephesians 6:13 & 2 Peter 1:3. Thank You for giving me EVERYTHING I need for this hour. You have outfitted me and equipped me for this moment. Help me stand, though I feel so weak. I lean upon You, my great deliverer!



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2 Comments


I'm so sad you've gone through this Melody ... yet you glorify the Lord as He uses you mightily and I can rejoice! Thank you so much for sharing. ❤

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Melody Maher
Melody Maher
May 03, 2022
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Awww thank you Vicki. We overcome by testifying to the Lord's goodness even through heartache and heartbreak, don't we?

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